​In a relationship when you have two emotionally shattered or broken people that relationship is a train wreck waiting to happen.

If there are two people within a relationship and they both have experienced deep hurts because of rejection and those wounds have never healed, it can create a codependent disposition within their relationship(s).

Story, I know a couple who got married. This was the husband & wife second marriage. The husband grew up without a father figure and the relationship with his mother was complex because his mother was headstrong.  Now the wife also grew up without a father figure and was raised by her grandmother. In both of their first marriages they faced some type of abuse. The husband was cheated on several times by his wife which was emotionally abusive. The wife was physically abused by her ex-husband. Both parties got together with these deep seeded issues and in the midst of their marriage their inner issues came to a complete head, "A train wreck" Why? They didn't conqueror or heal from the hurts they experienced in their past. There was a deep wound in their soul that needed healing and in their troubled souls there was a raging war going on.

They tried to bring peace by reaching out to what  only brought a temporary gratification, but still left their soul empty with a deep void. That deep void in turn created a codependency.

Don't let a codependent person fool you they are needy, they need to be needed. They will act like they all for you, by blessing you in some way, shape or form, but it’s really according to their selfish agenda, "Self-gratification", the need for validation and affirmation. Being needed make them feel valued of some importance.

When a codependent person doesn’t have anyone reaching out to them in need, they will reach toward a feeling of false fulfillment such as status, achievements and substances trying to fill a void.
When you are codependent you are a clear target for manipulation and control, but codependent people also manipulate and control with subtle suggestions (actions or words).

I said all that to say this. We do need people in our lives because God uses people to help us to grow, but a person can not bring a peace to our raging souls.
We shouldn't walk with a sense of entitlement, and with a expectation that a person suppose to bring complete happiness to our souls. This mindset will steal our peace & joy and leave our emotions unguarded and wounded, because of false expectations.

Lets not put our happiness in the hands of another human being, but it's God who gives complete (full) joy through Jesus Christ by the Holy Spirit.

Matthew 11:28-30
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
John 10:10
The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
John 15:11
These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.

John 21:20-22 ESV
Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them, the one who also had leaned back against him during the supper and had said, “Lord, who is it that is going to betray you?” When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, “Lord, what about this man?” Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!”
Jesus says to Peter-"If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!" -
In a couple verses before this particular passage of scripture Peter had just finish listening to what Jesus was saying to him concerning his call, vocation and purpose; which was going to be full of power of the Holy Spirit with many victories as well as much suffering even unto death for the sake of the gospel in Jesus name.
Peter probably was thinking, well Jesus if I'm going to suffer for your name sake,  What about this man? What about John?
What was the position of Peters heart at that very moment, was it jealousy? At that moment maybe Peter was feeling that he shouldn't be the only one that have to face suffering and death for Jesus name sake.
Maybe it was just curiousity! But why? Well we dont know why! But Jesus addresses Peter's curiosity by saying to Peter, mind your own business don't become so preoccupied with John (someone elses) purpose or destiny. Stay focus and make sure your full devotion is toward me. Follow me. Its my prerogative concerning what I have purposed for John's life.
Some people are so focus on other people lives & the vocation of what others are called do to the point of comparison; looking into other people lives as a standard of measurement.
In 2 Corinthians 10:12 Paul called that foolish, unwise and ignorant. That comparison mentality can sway us from our unique predestined purpose that was designed by God just for us.
Let's be careful that we don't become unfaithful in our walk concerning the perfect will of God because of jealousy.
There is no need to covet or be jealous of others, because we are uniquely, fearfully and wonderfully made.
We also must be careful not to allow ourselves to be driven by deception to pursue selfish ambitions (pride of life) because we measuring up our lives against another.
I pray that we do not abort our true identity in Christ and become and imitation of another by comparing ourselves to others. If we abort our identity by imitating another, we abort our purpose and the authority that God has given us to walk out our vocation through Jesus Christ.
Our vocation in the body of Christ according to God may differ from our brothers and sisters in the kingdom; but we have to remember we are after the same goal which is the ministry of reconciliation of the lost, preparing God’s people to serve, building up the body of Christ until all of us are united in faith and knowledge about Jesus, until we become mature and  measure up to Christ, who is the standard.
II Corinthians 10:12 NKJV
For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.
I Peter 4:15 NKJV
But let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer, or as a busybody in other people’s matters.

This photo speaks volumes, because the enemy doesn't ask can he play with our mind he looks for that open opportunity to trespass and oppress our minds, especially when we're in that place of vulnerability, or not guarded.
That's when the enemy will create a whole complete blockbuster movie in our mind in a matter of seconds and then deceive us into writing a script on our hearts about the images thats being created in our thoughts; which create a stronghold and a false mindset.
Some of us have heard "A idle mind is the devil workshop",also we heard it's his playground, if we allow him to create for us a wonder-land full of lies and fantasy; he'll have our minds wandering with a twisted curiosity about a false reality. This inaccurate thought process manipulate our hearts; exposing our emotions through erroneous words or actions.
Example:
1. Our enemy will have us crazy mad or offended at a person for something we don't have clarity about or what someone have spoken to us. Upset off assumptions as the enemy whisper accusations about that person.  #dontassume #ask #confront
2. He will have us thinking of ourselves  worthless of no value because of guilt and shame. Don't allow condemnation to over take you. For there is no condemnation to those that's walking with Jesus Christ. Those that walk in the Spirit but not after the flesh. #condemnation #enemytactic
3. The enemy will have you thinking that you are in a relationship with a person that does not want you or better yet want to deal with you. You liking them and they not even thinking about you. #fantasy #lies
4. The enemy will have you thinking everybody is against you and everybody talking about you. #everybodynottalking
Guard your mind by being watchful of what and how you see out of your eyes and the words spoken into your eargates. Guard your heart with all diligence (seriousness, standing firm, immovable) because out of it flows the issues of life.
2 Corinthians 10:5 KJV
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
Proverbs 4:23 KJV
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

For the Son of man (Jesus) is come to SEEK and to SAVE that which was LOST (Luke 19:10). My question is why are we judging, running and cutting ourselves away from the hurting and lost? Why do we look down on their struggles and a majority of us that's in the BODY are battling struggles day by day. Yes we are free, but we are still in a fight (Ephesian 6:12). Aren't we the salt of the earth & the light of the world (Matthew 5:13-16). Did we get save just to sit on our little thrones to look down on the blind, wounded, hurt and lost! We need to self-examine & humble ourselves.
Always remember only because of the grace of God we are saved and able to continue to experience liberty (freedom) from sin, guilt and shame (Only by God’s grace through Jesus Christ). We were once part of the community of the lost (sinners).
Keys2Life
WWJD Mark 2:14-17 And as he passed by, he {Jesus}saw Levi the son of Alphaeus sitting at the receipt of custom, and said unto him, Follow me. And he arose and followed him. And it came to pass, that, as Jesus sat at meat in his house, many publicans and sinners sat also together with Jesus and his disciples: for there were many, and they followed him. And when the scribes and Pharisees saw him eat with publicans and sinners, they said unto his disciples, How is it that he eateth and drinketh with publicans and sinners? When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

Are we really chasing after God? ....or chasing that image of the American dream to look good for the American people that surround us.
Not knowing that put us in a consistent place of lights, camera, action....play act...dramatize life style on stage on a day to day bases.
Afraid for someone to see the real us, afraid of what someone may think about us, afraid of the looks of rejection, the fear of not feeling important, because of the fear being alone.

Look at us a bunch of scareddy cats...chasing a image trying to impress.. so we can be chased by a bunch of people that don't know who they are because they chasing the same thing we chasing because they feeling the same way we feeling...what is that feeling?..What!! You don't know? It's called FEAR of rejection.....a need for validation...we become an embodiment of F.E.A.R... False Evidence Appearing to be Real...the whole time giving people fantasy about ourselves..false perceptions....so when we walk around saying I'm not scared of nobody...ummm think again...we afraid of what someone may think about the real us...thinking that the abundance of possession, promotion, status & relationship define who we really are..and in return we want the applause of people or the accolades of our peers. We're in fear toward the wrong ones.

Our purpose should be to please God, beginning of wisdom is to fear God (reverence) because everyone you standing before to accept their judgment concerning your present state will have to do the same...stand before God on judgment day...so I say step off .... stage and remove the masks.

©KeysLife
I
I Timothy 1:7 NKJV
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

​Proverbs 1:7 NKJV
The fear of the Lord  is the beginning of knowledge, But fools despise wisdom and instruction.

1. Anyone that carry a fear of rejection may have a hard time accepting & opening up to genuine love. #trustissues
2. A person that has been hurt & battle fear of rejection, when confronted can become very defensive. At times those hurts can blind them from recognizing or accepting truth. #wallup
3. A person that battle a fear of rejection, because of hurts can experience struggles with being self-absorbed or selfishness; its all about their pleasures and them wanting to please another is grounded in how it's going to make them feel. #selfpreservation #"I"itis
4. A person that battle with fear of rejection can end up becoming the one who reject others to protect themselves from experiencing further hurts. #rejectedbecomesrejecter
©Keys2Life

Pride, haughtiness & arrogance comes from a persons struggle with  insecurities with self. How can you say pride stems from insecurity & fear?
There's always a need of another persons validation & praise about who you are and your achievements (praise).
Now there is a difference in sharing and boasting. If you sharing to encourage others that's great; But sharing only to compare and exalt self that's pride.
While sharing you may feel some type of way when you find out the person you sharing with is a step ahead of you, or feel they are more gifted than you to the point of comparison to see who's better.
We must be careful to stay away from comparing ourselves with others because of that feeling of intimidation or inadequacies. Pride will have us investigating short comings of another to try to eliminate those feeling of inadequacies.
Being prideful will make you judge another based on assumptions not facts and look down on them & their lack of accomplishments (according to your own perception). It will  make you elevate yourself (lofty thinking) while you put them under your feet (see them beneath you).
Pride: a high or excessive opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit or superiority whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in conduct.
Insecurity: lack of confidence or assurance, self doubt. Anxiety
Self exaltation (elation of mind or feeling, sometimes abnormal  (excessive boasting about ones own self and accomplishments).
©Keys2life
2 Corinthians 10:12-18 (NLT)
12 Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!

On this journey the persistence of the sins of my pass is in consistent pursuit to resurrect the old man and with its distinct call only the old man would recognize.
As sin crows@daybreak, it serenades me@sunset, with whispers of desperation in my eargates@midnight which follows with visual suggestions in the subconscious.
As my conscious lay suspended through the night for a few hours, while tossing and turning the visual in my subconscious seems like I'm living my reality, but from that false reality I’m awaken realizing that sin tried to create for me my own wonderland (fantasy).
Sins desire for me is to be entangled within servitude; to rekindle & resurrect that old man which was crucified & laid to rest; even though the enactment was false it can still be felt in my reality.
Now fully awake, alert & struggling mentally with those twisted suggestions that was presented to me during my most vulnerable hours of my life, I'm in resistance against the overcast of emotions of guilt, shame and fears.
I realize there was a reason for sin abrupt presentation. Sin had assistance. Sin was the arrow, but our enemy played cupid.
The sin was infatuation rooted in lust but camouflage itself as love.Lust is not only defined as sexual intercourse or actions, but a passionate, excessive desire or craving of anything.
©Keys2Life
Ephesians 4:19-23 NLT
They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity. But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.

 

Whenever you pull away and retreat to that quiet place in the Lord. You'll face the authentic you, confrontation with self-reflection of the inward you.
You will realize all anger, disappointment, fears and frustration 100% is our own fault. It comes from the reaction of being rejected. The feelings of not being accepted from the ones we grown to love. Why our fault? Because they all are emotions and our emotions can be brought under subjection.
No one, I mean no one should have that much control where they can alter our heart & emotions, the only one we should allow our heart to be in full subjection to is God.
When we leave our heart unguarded and entrusted with the wrong people (the rejected/the wounded) 9 times out of 10 that person, that wounded you have been hurt, wounded or rejected.
If we speak honestly we can say the majority of us have been rejected and wounded, but have we been healed from those wounds of rejection? At times we have to get alone with the Lord, retreat and allow him to enlighten us on the position of our heart to make sure we not repeating the cycle of bitterness. #therejectedwillreject #thewoundedwillwound #
©KEYS2LIFE
Hebrews 12:14-15 NLT
Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.